Blog #4: Open Benchmark Essay

Lord of the Flies is the story of a group of boys stranded on a deserted inland during a major war. It follows the boys as they run crueler as the trappings of civilization fade away. A very Hobbes inspired novel. Cruelty serves as a commentary on the general nature of humanity and it reveals this nature by the reactions of the boys to cruelty.

When the boys end up on the island, they believe it will be a Robinson Curose- style adventure. But as time foes on, the situation deteriotes eventually with the murder of Piggy and the hunt for Ralph. But in the beginning the boys are sickened by the killing animals to eat. This steady increase in cruelty over time, from innocent boy to murderer, highlights a central theme of loss of innocence. Especially with Ralph and Jim,, cruelty serves as a measure of civility. Ralph represents civilization- only with him do Piggy and Simon survive- while Jim is closer to the nature of men. Ralph acts far less cruelty that Jim- who bullys people weaker than him and choose to break off and create a hierarchical sture rather than the nicer original camp.l Cruelty is a measure of degeneration away from civilization throughout the whole novel.

There are three specific acts of cruelty that illustrate the theme clearly- the hunt of the sow, the killing of Simon, and the murder of Piggy. The boys finally caught the sow they were chasing. The test reads like a gang rape with hysterical and vulger feelings running through the boys. At the end, they stake her head up. This act of cruelty was motivated by a desire for food, a perfectly reasonable desire, but it was tainted by the ritualistic and sexual way it was done. This is the beginning of the descent in darkness.

Simon's death was an accident, the boys, in a fit of hysteria, kill him believing him to be a monster. This killing, the first of another person, is a further decent into cruelty and the inherent nature of man- where rationality fails to create such acts of cruelty. Importantly, Ralph participates in killing Simon, showing how easy even civilization can fail.

The last act is the cruelest and the most revealing. During the confrontation at the cliff, one of Jim's group releases a boulder down the hill, striking and killing Piggy. This time, it was a simple murder, where the boy preceded with hatred a desire to kill Piggy. Piggy was the symbol for rationality and reason. Physically weak and needing the protection of Ralph, his glasses were the only way to create fire and leave the island. This cruelty marks the last stage of their descent- where the boys lose any semblance of civilization by cutting ties- literaly by destroying the only way to make fire, and figuratively by trying to kill Ralph, the symbol for civilization.

In the Lord of the Flies, Cruelty is tied to the inherent nature of man- only suppressed by civilization. As the acts of cruelty grow in the novel, we see civilization giving way to the wickedness in all people. Cruelty here reveals the inherent evil all people have.

Reflection

We wrote our first open essay on how cruelty functions in the piece and what it reveals about the perpetrator and victim. I choose to write about the Lord of the Flies for my essay. This may have been a poor decision- as I misnamed Jack to Jim, could not remember Roger's name and failed to remember the name of the author, William Golding. I would give myself a 5 for this essay. I think the most important thing to take away from this is that I went in unprepared- I couldn't recall enough of the book to really work with it. I remember key moments and the broad strokes, but missing details betray me. I read Lord of the Flies years ago, so I don't remember much. I also felt that my analysis was quite weak, I never looked at how cruelty relates to victim and I needed to connect my analysis with my evidence more. Still, I think the three acts of cruelty structure was good for addressing the overall cruelty in the novel part and I think there's a framework that could be developed to a great essay. The most important thing I need to learn is to build a list of books that I can recall well that could be used. Like 5 books with broad things that I can remember all of. This eliminates my greatest problem. This means I need to read more. This can be seen if I have complete and correct information in my essays.

Response
Kara Lennon (lennonkaraapenglish2015.blogspot.com/)

Hi Kara! I think that you did a solid job on your analysis though I think that you should be a four over a three because you had several interesting threads that could have been more interesting if developed. But without development, it failed to offer an adequate analysis mainly being too unfocused. Your writing felt functional but it didn't have the rhetorical devices to make your prose stronger. You commented on most of your biggest problems well, I need to refresh my memory too. Additionally, I would have structured your paragraphs differently, with the analysis interspersed into the paraphrasing rather than the separate paragraphs. Your thesis was also a bit weak, it needs to be more specific. You're correct about being staying on topic and recalling plot details being your most important problems. I felt that you made a solid analysis of what you could remember. I think your goal of recalling more information is a good one, it'll help all the other parts of your essay.

Essay Revision
Boys elect Ralph- Refusal
Boys kill Simon- Ordeal
Captain saves Ralph- Resurrection
Lord of the Flies is a story where our heroes fail, the boys are confronted with the inherent evil of man, they succumb to it. The captain is a deus ex machina, which is deliberate, Ralph does not survive on his own ability. The third act is subverted.

Lord of the Flies by William Golding is the story of a group of boys stranded on a deserted island during a major war. It follows the boys as they turn crueler as the trappings of civilization fade away. The central theme of the novel is how man is wicked and evil if civilization does not hold him back, with cruelty serving as the barometer of that evil. Cruelty serves as a commentary on the inherently evil nature of humanity and it reveals this nature through the boy's increasingly cruel actions.

When the boys end up on the island, they believe it will be a Robinson Crusoe- style adventure. They resist their evil natures by electing Ralph and constructing a social system. But as time goes on, their real nature breaks through their facade of civility, eventually with the murder of Piggy and the hunt for Ralph. But in the beginning the boys are sickened by the killing animals to eat. This steady increase in cruelty over time, from innocent boy to murderer, highlights a central theme of how, in the absence of authority o hold us back, humanity is inherently cruel.

There are three specific acts of cruelty that illustrate the theme clearly- the hunt of the sow, the killing of Simon, and the murder of Piggy. The boys finally caught the sow they were chasing. Golding writes about this like a gang rape with hysterical and sexual descriptions. At the end, they cut her head off and put it on a stake. This head, the Lord of the Flies, tells Simon of the darkness in all of them latter. This is something crueler than anything the boys were capable of when civilization stopped them. Still, the boys will do far worse things. This is the beginning of the descent in darkness.

Simon, in a sort of spirit journey, wanders into the forest and meets the 'monster,' a dead pilot on his parachute. He meets the Lord of the Flies who explains to him how all the evil of the island comes from the boy. After he wander's back, the boys kill him. Simon's death was an accident, the boys, in a fit of hysteria, kill him believing him to be a monster. This killing, the first of another person, is a further decent into cruelty and the evil nature of man- where rationality fails to create such acts of cruelty. Importantly, Ralph, symbol of civilization, participates in killing Simon, showing how easy even civilization can fail. Also note Simon, the closest to an actual hero, is the first to die.

The last act is the cruelest and the most revealing. During the confrontation at the cliff, Roger releases a boulder down the hill, striking and killing Piggy. This time, it was a simple murder, where the boy preceded with hatred a desire to kill Piggy. Piggy was the symbol for rationality and reason. Physically weak and needing the protection of Ralph, his glasses were the only way to create fire and leave the island. This cruelty marks the last stage of their descent- where the boys lose any semblance of civilization by cutting ties- literally by destroying the only way to make fire, and figuratively by trying to kill Ralph, the symbol for civilization.

Ralph is saved by a navel captain who arrives unexpected and somewhat randomly. This sudden arrival of an authority figure immediately cows the boys, who were hunting Ralph, back into line. This is important to central theme of civilization holding back people's darker nature.

Reflection
We were to try to use the hero's journey to try and improve our open essays. I don't think the hero's journey helped very much with this particular book. The hero's journey ends with the hero triumphing and overcoming the trials presented to him. But the boys in the book fail to overcome and are only saved by dumb luck. Thus, the third act subverts the journey, if it was intended to follow it at all. My major changes were to focus my essay to look at how cruelty illustrates the inherent evil of all people. I think the three acts of cruelty structure holds up well, more as a descent than a hero's journey. Still, the hero's journey did help me interpret Simon's role in more detail. I think I might be able to look at Simon's role as a hero and how his death is important but that would be a rewrite than a revision and would be off topic. It also helped me remember the importance of the navel captain at the end.