Characterization is essential in the opening of any book, except perhaps the post-modern ones. Louise Erdich, in his 1986 novel, The Beet Queen, wastes no time in developing his two protagonists. Using a third person omniscient narrator with neutral tone, Erdich develops the Adares using the environment and the siblings reactions to it. With a neutral and unbiased third person narrator. Erdich characterizes Karl Adare as a romantic and Mary Adare as a pragmatist by the vivid imagery of the environment and the detail present in it.
Erdich uses a very neutral tone- the type associated with literary realism. Erdich never judges his characters- only describing the "cold spring mourning," the physical characteristics of the Adares, and the scene with the tree. As with the realist tone, the advantages this offers are that we can trust the narrator to be true and we can see the actions of the characters for what they are. Furthermore, it allows the author to wrap the implications and subtext behind a wall of frankness.
From the tone, third person omniscient is the other logical part of realism. This narrator is 100% reliable and can describe things with perfect accuracy. The same benefits as as the neutral tone. This allowed Erdich to mention the summer and spring following 1932. Either way, realism is simply a lens that allows Erdich to focus on the characters.
The centerpiece of the passage is the vivid images of Argus and the descriptions of the children. The town seems to be a timeless place- lacking the activity of the city. "Along the track... everything that made the town arrived. All that diminished the town departed by that route." This sense of "easy come, easy go" gives the town a sleepy, relaxed feel. The boy, with his "sweetly curved [mouth], his skin fine and girlish" is portrayed as the more romantic of the two, the girl "was square and practical." These images already inform us about the nature of the two characters.
His choice to include the detail of the flowers also highlights the romantic/practical divide. Mary walks by the flowers looking for Fritzie, but Karl stops to smell them and gets in trouble. What a pleasant thing to do, stop and smell the flowers. Mary choose to focus on the objective instead. Again at the end, where Mary runs to Fritzie away from the dog while Karl goes back to the train. Mary chooses to go to what they came to do while Karl runs to the train- someplace that feels like home. Erdich uses realism to better show how the environment, the scene with the tree, highlights the difference between Mary and Karl.
Reflection
We wrote an essay in response to the prose prompt about Louise Erdich's The Beet Queen. I would have given my essay a five. After typing it up, I realized that I paraphrased far too much. I needed textual evidence to support most of my fairly strong claims. Also, I felt I had a few good ideas but it wasn't focused enough. The part about literary realism was quite off topic- it doesn't really talk much about the environment. I should have tied realism to the reactions of the kids. My intro has a strange repetition of ideas when I should have just gave my thesis. I think that I didn't do so well because I was caught off guard by the prompt- I remember being unsure about how to proceed after reading it. Also, I didn't start off with a clear thesis which confused me down the line. Lastly, I didn't really annotate because I wasn't sure what to look for, This essay is a little different from the AP Comp essay. The AP Comp essays focused more on how the author crafts an argument while this looked at specific effect of the text. I think I can improve by annotating the essay, using more textual evidence, and studying more about the types of prompts.
Response
Austin Woodruff (woodruffaustinapenglishlit2016.blogspot.com)
Hi Austin! I thought that you had a solid essay. I also felt your reflection was quite good and I agree with the score you gave yourself. It was a reasonable analysis with strong supporting evidence but I felt was less thorough and perceptive than the upper tier. I felt that you were quite focused on the prompt, you consistently talked about the environment in relation to the siblings. Don't be afraid digress from the prompt, you're allowed a degree of deviation. I also felt that you needed more analysis of your citations. You used a lot of textual evidence, which is good, but you need more analysis with it. I also think your thesis needs to be more specific. I have the same problem, but it looks like your concluding statement offers a more focused thesis than the opening paragraph. Lastly, your writing feels very functional, but not very a command of the elements of effective composition. I don't quite understand your goal- what is one point every six points? Also, I think that your goals should be more focused than scoring better. I'd recommend adding writing a stronger thesis (demonstrable through a strong and clear thesis in following essays) and longer analysis (demonstrable through the ratio of analysis to evidence.) Overall, I think that you have a good handle on where you are and what to do.
Thursday, August 27, 2015
Wednesday, August 19, 2015
Blog #2: Poetry Benchmark Essay
Who does not know the pain of heartbreak? Lots of people, but certainly not poets. So many poems talk about love, and so many talk about the pain of love lost. George Gascoigne writes about his own heartbreak in his 1573 poem: For That He Looked Not upon Her. He is afraid of being hurt again, but still finds the subject of his former love beautiful. Gascoigne makes specific uses of diction to convey his hedgehog's dilemma; he also makes use of second person and first person to create immediacy; he also uses vivid imagery to draw pity.
The poem never directly mentions love, nor does it state that "you" are the lover. Still, the implication is very strong from his choice of words. Gascoigne uses words like "gleams" and "blazing" to describe "you." This suggests that he finds "you" to be attractive. He also mentions "the game" and "fancy dazzled by desire" in lines eleven and twelve. Desire is very strongly linked with love, and fancy is a somewhat archaic term for romantic interest. These choices of words imply that his "desire" was once the still attractive "you." His choice to describe "you" with positive words relating to light suggests that he may still be attracted to "you."
The poem is written in both second person and first person, as if he were speaking to his love. The strong implication from the last line, where he says that "your blazing eyes" have created his misery, is that "you" is his partner, This use of second person creates immediacy with the reader. A third person view would have been more distant due to the detached pronouns. A solely first person view would have less of a connection to the audience, A second person view puts the audience as his lover, and makes the reader be in the poem with him.
There are two uses of imagery with metaphor in this piece. Gascoigne mentions a mouse broken out of a trap, weary of deception and a fly that escaped the flame. The implication is quite clear, Gascoigne is the mouse and fly and "you" are the bait and flame, respectively. He chooses to analogize himself to pests, it is attempt to draw pity for the reader. Had he picked himself as a lion, he might have seemed more arrogant. But the choice to be weak makes him the wounded party. His choice of bait and flame are also important. Both are positive things that can be very dangerous, the view he likely has about "you."
Reflection
We wrote our first poetry analysis essay that will appear on the AP exam. Our analysis was over George Gascoigne's For That He Looked Not Upon Her. We were to look at the form, diction, and imagery. I would have scored my essay a 7. I think I did a reasonable analysis, but it isn't solid enough to be very persuasive. I hadn't collected all my thoughts together precisely enough to be very thorough or convincing. I do make specific references to the text and I think my command of composition is strong enough to be 7 over a 6. For the most part, I felt the biggest issue was time. I thought I would be able to get all my thoughts down before the bell, but I spent too long analyzing. Equally, I attempted to see if the poem was in iambic pentameter, but I misidentified it. This is probably because this was the first time taking a poetry analysis and we haven't studied poetic form yet. This shows that I need to learn to manage my time better and study more on the form of poetry, which was the weakest part of my analysis.
Feedback to others
Austin Woodruff- woodruffaustinapenglishlit2016.blogspot.com
The poem never directly mentions love, nor does it state that "you" are the lover. Still, the implication is very strong from his choice of words. Gascoigne uses words like "gleams" and "blazing" to describe "you." This suggests that he finds "you" to be attractive. He also mentions "the game" and "fancy dazzled by desire" in lines eleven and twelve. Desire is very strongly linked with love, and fancy is a somewhat archaic term for romantic interest. These choices of words imply that his "desire" was once the still attractive "you." His choice to describe "you" with positive words relating to light suggests that he may still be attracted to "you."
The poem is written in both second person and first person, as if he were speaking to his love. The strong implication from the last line, where he says that "your blazing eyes" have created his misery, is that "you" is his partner, This use of second person creates immediacy with the reader. A third person view would have been more distant due to the detached pronouns. A solely first person view would have less of a connection to the audience, A second person view puts the audience as his lover, and makes the reader be in the poem with him.
There are two uses of imagery with metaphor in this piece. Gascoigne mentions a mouse broken out of a trap, weary of deception and a fly that escaped the flame. The implication is quite clear, Gascoigne is the mouse and fly and "you" are the bait and flame, respectively. He chooses to analogize himself to pests, it is attempt to draw pity for the reader. Had he picked himself as a lion, he might have seemed more arrogant. But the choice to be weak makes him the wounded party. His choice of bait and flame are also important. Both are positive things that can be very dangerous, the view he likely has about "you."
Reflection
We wrote our first poetry analysis essay that will appear on the AP exam. Our analysis was over George Gascoigne's For That He Looked Not Upon Her. We were to look at the form, diction, and imagery. I would have scored my essay a 7. I think I did a reasonable analysis, but it isn't solid enough to be very persuasive. I hadn't collected all my thoughts together precisely enough to be very thorough or convincing. I do make specific references to the text and I think my command of composition is strong enough to be 7 over a 6. For the most part, I felt the biggest issue was time. I thought I would be able to get all my thoughts down before the bell, but I spent too long analyzing. Equally, I attempted to see if the poem was in iambic pentameter, but I misidentified it. This is probably because this was the first time taking a poetry analysis and we haven't studied poetic form yet. This shows that I need to learn to manage my time better and study more on the form of poetry, which was the weakest part of my analysis.
Feedback to others
Austin Woodruff- woodruffaustinapenglishlit2016.blogspot.com
Hi Austin! I think that your analysis was fairly accurate.
From what I read, I would guess that you ran out of time- it feels like you
have far more to say. You could have talked more about the form and diction of
the poem, but I think you were getting to that. It was a tad vague- your last
paragraph confused me somewhat; were you looking at the imagery Gascoigne used
for "her" eyes? Still, I felt your command of the elements of
effective composition is one of your strengths. The language in your essay was
very good. You also used textual evidence effectively, another important skill;
no paraphrasing. I think that your goal to write good paragraphs consistently
is a good one. You should also work on time management, which is a problem of
mine too. Lastly, try also to have a clearer thesis that specifically address
the prompt- remember AP writing is a genre itself, and they want students to
zero in on that prompt. Overall, I think you did a plausible job with a good
analysis of what you did.
Addendum: I also recommend that you add a paragraph break in
your analysis at "The essay above..." It's a bit long.
Matt Maertz- maertzmattapenglishlit2016.blogspot.com
Matt Maertz- maertzmattapenglishlit2016.blogspot.com
Hi Matt! I think that you did an overall good job your
analysis, but I felt that you paraphrased too much. I would have given it a
five because of that- a plausible analysis. I think that you should have broken
up your first paragraph into an introduction and another body. It would make
your thesis much clearer. I also felt that you could have included much more
textual evidence. You also started to digress from strictly analyzing the
essay, especially in the second paragraph. You did a good analyzing the form of
the poem, though it was a bit bizarre. I also liked your writing. I think you
should work on focusing your essay, to address the prompt directly. Also, I
think that you should work on including more textual evidence.
REVISED DRAFT
Who does not know the pain of heartbreak? Lots of people, but certainly not poets. In "For That He Looked Not upon Her," George Gascoigne talks to his former lover with mixed attraction, resentment, and fear. Gascoigne's metaphors about a mouse hurt by a trap and a fly burnt by a flame compares similarly to his own feelings toward her. With the form of a Shakespearean sonnet, Gascoigne uses distant, depressive diction to create imagery that highlights his mixed attraction and resentment toward his past love.
The poem is written in both second person and first person, as if he were speaking to his love. The strong implication from the last line, where he says that "your blazing eyes" have created his misery, is that "you" is his partner, This use of second person creates immediacy with the reader. A third person view would have been more distant due to the detached pronouns. A solely first person view would have less of a connection to the audience, A second person view puts the audience as his lover, and makes the reader be in the poem with him. More than that, it creates immediacy to Gascoigne, as he must talk to his lover face to face. This also allows Gascoigne to describe himself from "your" point of view- depriving himself of active verbs to make him a more active and willful person.
There are two uses of imagery with metaphor in this piece, in the second and third quatrain. Gascoigne mentions a mouse broken out of a trap, weary of deception and a fly that escaped the flame. Gascoigne is the mouse and fly and "you" are the bait and flame, respectively. He chooses to analogize himself to pests in an attempt to draw pity for the reader. Had he picked himself as a lion, he might have seemed more arrogant or proud. But the choice to be weak makes him the wounded party. His choice of bait and flame are also important. Both are positive things that can be very dangerous, the view he likely has about "you."
I find his verb choice very interesting. Despite all he does to make himself appear weak and wounded, Gascoigne is always the active party, except in the first quatrain. The mouse chooses to fall for a passive trap, the fly chooses to fly into the passive flame, and he chooses to look not upon her. The first quatrain is written from "your" point of view about him, reducing his active verbs and making him look passive. But in the last couplet, He "winks or else [holds] down [his] head," not her. There is a shift in the poem that gives him the control. This could imply that he blames himself for the poor relationship, or his actively working to actively resent "you." Either way, Gascoigne's choice to make himself the active party shows that he is not as weak and passive as he tries to come off.
Gascoigne's sonnet form allows him to have a clear four part structure. The first quatrain contrasts with the last couplet in his choice in voice- "you" are active in the first while he is active in the last. Gascoigne also spends most his imagery to suggest that he is the wounded party, but his metaphors all have him make a choice to be hurt. He also wrote in second person, the most immediate and active of the points of view. All this suggests that Gascoigne is a far more active and willful person than he tries to make himself seem.
Reflection
I think that the tone shifts chart was more of a help than the three part thesis/ I had already known the general direction that I would take take the essay, so the three part only helped me make that more clear. The tone shifts chart helped me realize the relationship between the first quatrain and the couplet. The three part thesis did force me to create a more specific thesis while my first was rather vague. The knowledge of the structure of the sonnet also helped me look with more depth at how all four parts of the poem interacted. I also cut out the section justify that this poem is about love, it was largely extraneous and messed with my structure. I remember that I ran out of time when I was writing this first time. Simply getting more time to think and write helped me immensely. That, combined with new knowledge about the structure of a sonnet, contributed most to my revisions.
REVISED DRAFT
Who does not know the pain of heartbreak? Lots of people, but certainly not poets. In "For That He Looked Not upon Her," George Gascoigne talks to his former lover with mixed attraction, resentment, and fear. Gascoigne's metaphors about a mouse hurt by a trap and a fly burnt by a flame compares similarly to his own feelings toward her. With the form of a Shakespearean sonnet, Gascoigne uses distant, depressive diction to create imagery that highlights his mixed attraction and resentment toward his past love.
The poem is written in both second person and first person, as if he were speaking to his love. The strong implication from the last line, where he says that "your blazing eyes" have created his misery, is that "you" is his partner, This use of second person creates immediacy with the reader. A third person view would have been more distant due to the detached pronouns. A solely first person view would have less of a connection to the audience, A second person view puts the audience as his lover, and makes the reader be in the poem with him. More than that, it creates immediacy to Gascoigne, as he must talk to his lover face to face. This also allows Gascoigne to describe himself from "your" point of view- depriving himself of active verbs to make him a more active and willful person.
There are two uses of imagery with metaphor in this piece, in the second and third quatrain. Gascoigne mentions a mouse broken out of a trap, weary of deception and a fly that escaped the flame. Gascoigne is the mouse and fly and "you" are the bait and flame, respectively. He chooses to analogize himself to pests in an attempt to draw pity for the reader. Had he picked himself as a lion, he might have seemed more arrogant or proud. But the choice to be weak makes him the wounded party. His choice of bait and flame are also important. Both are positive things that can be very dangerous, the view he likely has about "you."
I find his verb choice very interesting. Despite all he does to make himself appear weak and wounded, Gascoigne is always the active party, except in the first quatrain. The mouse chooses to fall for a passive trap, the fly chooses to fly into the passive flame, and he chooses to look not upon her. The first quatrain is written from "your" point of view about him, reducing his active verbs and making him look passive. But in the last couplet, He "winks or else [holds] down [his] head," not her. There is a shift in the poem that gives him the control. This could imply that he blames himself for the poor relationship, or his actively working to actively resent "you." Either way, Gascoigne's choice to make himself the active party shows that he is not as weak and passive as he tries to come off.
Gascoigne's sonnet form allows him to have a clear four part structure. The first quatrain contrasts with the last couplet in his choice in voice- "you" are active in the first while he is active in the last. Gascoigne also spends most his imagery to suggest that he is the wounded party, but his metaphors all have him make a choice to be hurt. He also wrote in second person, the most immediate and active of the points of view. All this suggests that Gascoigne is a far more active and willful person than he tries to make himself seem.
Reflection
I think that the tone shifts chart was more of a help than the three part thesis/ I had already known the general direction that I would take take the essay, so the three part only helped me make that more clear. The tone shifts chart helped me realize the relationship between the first quatrain and the couplet. The three part thesis did force me to create a more specific thesis while my first was rather vague. The knowledge of the structure of the sonnet also helped me look with more depth at how all four parts of the poem interacted. I also cut out the section justify that this poem is about love, it was largely extraneous and messed with my structure. I remember that I ran out of time when I was writing this first time. Simply getting more time to think and write helped me immensely. That, combined with new knowledge about the structure of a sonnet, contributed most to my revisions.
Tuesday, August 18, 2015
Blog #1: Multiple Choice Reflection
Today, we got back our results for the first multiple choice assessment for the AP Literature exam. I scored a 17 out of 25. For me, the most important thing I learned is that I should close read more carefully. I missed several questions that I could have gotten correct if I read more carefully. I think I didn't read as closely was because of the time limit. The most useful element I learned was how similar it was to the old AP Composition exam. Previously, I had thought that they would be very different exams. They still share many elements- like the focus on how the author crafts the piece. I think they felt similar because the techniques of analyzing text are similar for most pieces. But there still were differences. Unlike the AP Composition exam, this practice test focused more on literary pieces over nonfiction essays. It also dealt with arguments less. I think this is the reason they are different courses, different focus. Ultimately, I did worse than I did at the end of AP Composition last year. This means I will have to relearn and reapply skills in different ways from the AP Composition exam along with entirely new ones.
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