Monday, December 14, 2015
Blog #15: First Semester Reflection
So this semester's largely over. It's largely been about poetry, which took up all of November and bits of October and December. Other than that, we've had a unit at the beginning looking at the AP test, the various essays on it, and complexity. I think I've learned the most about poetry this semester. Most of the English classes up to this have been about prose passages, and I've learned a lot about form, rhyme, etc. I felt particularly proud of dissecting Keats' Ode on a Grecian Urn. Our group ran into a lot of logistical trouble on that one, but I think we pulled through alright. I do feel worried about the multiple choice. We haven't done much practice on it and it makes up a good chunk of the AP Test. I also have trouble with the standard forty minute essay time limit. Most of our work was in projects which spanned days. It's different to write something decent in forty minutes than to make something good in a few days. I think I can improve by practicing more under the time limits that the AP Test will put us under. I also think that I need to practice more with the multiple choice. It requires a different style of thinking compared to the essays, which we have been doing in class. Overall, I think this semester has greatly helped my presentation skills and taught me a lot about poetry. Looking ahead, I need to improve on timed writing and multiple choice for the AP exam which I think can be best done through practice.
Friday, November 27, 2015
Blog #14: Compare and Contrast Essay
Both “Five
Flights Up” and “Five AM” center on a narrator’s thoughts in the early morning.
However, the thoughts of the narrator differ significantly with Stafford’s focusing
on how a new day washes away problems while Bishop’s focusing on how problems
never fade. Both make heavy use of imagery to accomplish this goal, but “Five
Flights Up” uses its images ironically against the narrator’s feelings to show
the struggles of the narrator while “Five AM” is more direct about how the
morning cleanses.
The structure
of both help to establish the tone each is trying to set. Structurally, both
poems are free verse poems with no rhyme scheme. Free verse lends both a
conversational tone, as if the narrator were just talking plainly. For both,
this helps them achieve a sense of immediacy with the narrator, as there are no
tricks of language to color their words. However, “Five AM” has a more
organized two stanza, eight line structure while “Five Flights Up” is rather
chaotic with the length of its lines and stanzas. “Five AM” feels calmer and
less busy because of this; there is a clear order that helps preserve Stafford’s
calm, contemplative tone. “Five Flights Up” uses its uneven construction to
create a sense of disorder and unease even though the images are quite beautiful.
The
imagery is also very different. “Five Flights Up” focuses initially on the
lives of a dog and bird. They live carefree, focusing on their sensory lives.
The dog “bounces up and down.” The bird “seems to yawn.” The simplicity of the
actions taken by the animals is contrasted to the humans. The owner is stern
shouts “You ought to be ashamed!” The narrator flatly states “…yesterday I find
almost impossible to lift.” The morning here brings only new things, good and
ill. For the dog and the bird, they “know everything is answered.” But for the
owner and narrator, the new morning promises a new day of struggle.
“Five AM” creates a calm tone that
it never leaves through Stafford’s word choice. Stafford uses very soft verbs
like, “breath, flicker, pad, touch.” These verbs help to stifle the action with
their light and soft connotation. Enjambment also creates a droning effect by
making the words go on and on and on. Stafford has a constant tone, but a
dramatic shift in subject at the start of the second stanza creates complexity.
Stafford shifts from very personal, sensuous images of a walk in the morning to
a rumination on the nature of good and evil for humanity. Then just as suddenly
shifts back to him. Stafford looks at positive things, “people… who never turn
into killers, saints have built sanctuaries…” Similarly, he walks uphill where “the
air doesn’t stir.” Stafford ends stanza one bothered by his ease and lack of
difficulty. However, he realizes that thousands of people go through a good
life without trouble; or rather their troubles are washed away each morning
with the rain. He realizes this through his tone shift back to himself during stanza
two.
Friday, November 20, 2015
Blog #13: Revised Paired Poetry Essay
In William Blake's "The Chimney Sweeper," Blake criticizes how spirituality offers no real solution to suffering. Blake's first poem has a sweeter image that belies that nothing has changed while his second shows bluntly how religion has done nothing to help the sweeps.Through similar poems with dramatically different tone, Blake criticizes how the church offers no genuine help to the Chimney Sweeps.
Both poems have quatrains with an AABB rhyme scheme. The short stanzas allow Blake to paint a vivid image in each stanza which forms the centers of the poems. The AABB rhyme scheme creates a whimsical tone with the its immediate rhyme. This contrasts the first poem with the second, where the first has a lighter tone that better fits the AABB rhyme while the 1794 poem is very dark, making the whimsical scheme ironic and a little sardonic. The 1794 poem is mocking the naive attitude of the 1789 by having the same structure- having the same simple stanza construction and rhyme scheme to show the 1789's true colors.
The two have opposite imagery with the symbols of black and white. The 1789 poem has a more hopeful tone. Tom has white hair in black surroundings such as "coffins of black." The children are also "naked & white" when they are freed from their suffering by the angel. The presence of white in a black surrounding suggests hope and good in miserable conditions. The 1794 poem uses the opposite imagery, with the sweep as a "little black" thing in white snow. The white surroundings feel hypocritical here, a beautiful landscape that leaves the sweeps still black and miserable. The use of black in white, or bad in good, suggests that all the help being "given" is useless.
Both poems also directly discuss religion. The 1789 deals more with how Tom's faith promises him salvation from his sweeping. Religion is a positive here, helping Tom cope with his hopeless condition because one day "He'd have have God for his father & never want joy." However, the 1794 poem is far less flattering. Religion here is useless. The narrator's parents are busy praying for help in the church, but it's done nothing to help the sweep. This time, religion is seen as a useless institution, promising change with no actual improvement; an institution that "make up a heaven of [the sweeps'] misery."
The bitter 1794 poem is also half the length than the 1789. Most of the bulk of the 1789 was the vision of the angel and salvation, which is not present in the 1794 poem. This makes the hope for salvation seem extraneous and forced, like it were tacked on to try to justify the pain in the first three stanzas of the 1789. Tom is cheered up by a dream, something that isn't real. In the 1794, Blake states the hopelessness of the sweep's condition quickly and directly, with no long-winded attempts to alleviate the pain.
Blake looks at two opposites here, a faith in established institutions to help a person and the disillusionment to the failings of those institutions. When examined side by side, the 1794 poem makes the 1789 poem look naive and foolish. The first represents what the church wants to be seen as, a genuine provider of good. The second represents what Blake sees, an institution giving empty promises.
Both poems have quatrains with an AABB rhyme scheme. The short stanzas allow Blake to paint a vivid image in each stanza which forms the centers of the poems. The AABB rhyme scheme creates a whimsical tone with the its immediate rhyme. This contrasts the first poem with the second, where the first has a lighter tone that better fits the AABB rhyme while the 1794 poem is very dark, making the whimsical scheme ironic and a little sardonic. The 1794 poem is mocking the naive attitude of the 1789 by having the same structure- having the same simple stanza construction and rhyme scheme to show the 1789's true colors.
The two have opposite imagery with the symbols of black and white. The 1789 poem has a more hopeful tone. Tom has white hair in black surroundings such as "coffins of black." The children are also "naked & white" when they are freed from their suffering by the angel. The presence of white in a black surrounding suggests hope and good in miserable conditions. The 1794 poem uses the opposite imagery, with the sweep as a "little black" thing in white snow. The white surroundings feel hypocritical here, a beautiful landscape that leaves the sweeps still black and miserable. The use of black in white, or bad in good, suggests that all the help being "given" is useless.
Both poems also directly discuss religion. The 1789 deals more with how Tom's faith promises him salvation from his sweeping. Religion is a positive here, helping Tom cope with his hopeless condition because one day "He'd have have God for his father & never want joy." However, the 1794 poem is far less flattering. Religion here is useless. The narrator's parents are busy praying for help in the church, but it's done nothing to help the sweep. This time, religion is seen as a useless institution, promising change with no actual improvement; an institution that "make up a heaven of [the sweeps'] misery."
The bitter 1794 poem is also half the length than the 1789. Most of the bulk of the 1789 was the vision of the angel and salvation, which is not present in the 1794 poem. This makes the hope for salvation seem extraneous and forced, like it were tacked on to try to justify the pain in the first three stanzas of the 1789. Tom is cheered up by a dream, something that isn't real. In the 1794, Blake states the hopelessness of the sweep's condition quickly and directly, with no long-winded attempts to alleviate the pain.
Blake looks at two opposites here, a faith in established institutions to help a person and the disillusionment to the failings of those institutions. When examined side by side, the 1794 poem makes the 1789 poem look naive and foolish. The first represents what the church wants to be seen as, a genuine provider of good. The second represents what Blake sees, an institution giving empty promises.
Thursday, November 19, 2015
Blog #12: Paired Poems Essay
In William Blake's "The Chimney Sweeper," Blake looks at how a Chimney Sweep can be happy in deplorable conditions. Conversely, William Blake's "The Chimney Sweeper" looks at how a Chimney Sweep is sad and depressed in his deplorable conditions. These two poems which deal with the same subject matter feature polar opposite tones: one of hope and innocence, the other of bitterness and experience. In William Blake's ""The Chimney Sweeper," Blake takes two contrasting stances on the church from the perspective of the same person.
The 1789 poem deals with dark imagery, but makes such horrible suffering bearable through the promise of a better life. Dacre's dream also begins with thousands of coffins. However, the tone lightens when an Angel comes to free all the sweeps from their suffering. With that knowledge, Dacre gets up and continues happily, safe in the knowledge that one day he will be saved. Here the child has great faith in the established institution of religion, and can bear his suffering with the knowledge that the Powers that Be will one day save him.
The 1794 poem also deals with religion, but is fair less celebratory. The irony here is that the narrator's parents are busy praying, which normally brings a change for the better. But Blake juxtaposes the promise of a better future with no change. The Chimney sweep still suffers despite all his prayers and hopes, and God "make up a heaven of our misery." This time, the narrator is far less faithful, he notes how all his parent's prayers have done nothing to improve his life. He feels "God & his Priest & King" are happy because they can survive on the fruits of his suffering.
The bitter 1794 poem is also far shorter than the 1789, half the length. Most of the bulk was the vision of the Angel and happiness, which is not present in the 1794 poem. This makes the hope for salvation seem extraneous and forced, like it were tacked on to try to justify the bad images in the first three stanzas. In the 1794, it states the hopelessness of the narrators condition quickly and directly, with no long-winded attempts to alleviate the pain. Also, Tom is cheered up by a dream, something that isn't real.
Blake looks at two opposites here, a faith in established institutions to help a person and the disillusionment to the failings of those institutions. A fairly archetypal arc is that from innocence to cynicism to action. The person begins innocent and hopeful, but grows more cynical as they see more suffering. Eventually, they decide to try to change the suffering into something that the hoped for when they were younger. These two poems fit the first two of that arc. If there were a third, it would likely be of someone working personally to save the sweeps.
Reflection
This was our first attempt to write a compare and contrast essay with two works of poetry. I had quite a bit of trouble with this one. I think that this is a four essay; it closely resembles the benchmark essay for four. I had a few interesting ideas but they don't go anywhere and don't have any sort direction. After we read the two, I was a bit thrown on what to do. I think it was because the prompt was quite vague- only compare and contrast, no more instruction? Also, I'm not that familiar with poetic devices. I normally used a list of devices when we did analysis- I never really memorized the devices. I only really noticed the imagery, which was the most superficial part of the poems. I also think that I tried to create a single thesis before I tried to interpret the poems separately to find their individual meanings. I think that I need to study the list of poetic devices and learn to create two separate arguments before trying to synthesis a compare and contrast argument to become better at this type of prompt.
The 1789 poem deals with dark imagery, but makes such horrible suffering bearable through the promise of a better life. Dacre's dream also begins with thousands of coffins. However, the tone lightens when an Angel comes to free all the sweeps from their suffering. With that knowledge, Dacre gets up and continues happily, safe in the knowledge that one day he will be saved. Here the child has great faith in the established institution of religion, and can bear his suffering with the knowledge that the Powers that Be will one day save him.
The 1794 poem also deals with religion, but is fair less celebratory. The irony here is that the narrator's parents are busy praying, which normally brings a change for the better. But Blake juxtaposes the promise of a better future with no change. The Chimney sweep still suffers despite all his prayers and hopes, and God "make up a heaven of our misery." This time, the narrator is far less faithful, he notes how all his parent's prayers have done nothing to improve his life. He feels "God & his Priest & King" are happy because they can survive on the fruits of his suffering.
The bitter 1794 poem is also far shorter than the 1789, half the length. Most of the bulk was the vision of the Angel and happiness, which is not present in the 1794 poem. This makes the hope for salvation seem extraneous and forced, like it were tacked on to try to justify the bad images in the first three stanzas. In the 1794, it states the hopelessness of the narrators condition quickly and directly, with no long-winded attempts to alleviate the pain. Also, Tom is cheered up by a dream, something that isn't real.
Blake looks at two opposites here, a faith in established institutions to help a person and the disillusionment to the failings of those institutions. A fairly archetypal arc is that from innocence to cynicism to action. The person begins innocent and hopeful, but grows more cynical as they see more suffering. Eventually, they decide to try to change the suffering into something that the hoped for when they were younger. These two poems fit the first two of that arc. If there were a third, it would likely be of someone working personally to save the sweeps.
Reflection
This was our first attempt to write a compare and contrast essay with two works of poetry. I had quite a bit of trouble with this one. I think that this is a four essay; it closely resembles the benchmark essay for four. I had a few interesting ideas but they don't go anywhere and don't have any sort direction. After we read the two, I was a bit thrown on what to do. I think it was because the prompt was quite vague- only compare and contrast, no more instruction? Also, I'm not that familiar with poetic devices. I normally used a list of devices when we did analysis- I never really memorized the devices. I only really noticed the imagery, which was the most superficial part of the poems. I also think that I tried to create a single thesis before I tried to interpret the poems separately to find their individual meanings. I think that I need to study the list of poetic devices and learn to create two separate arguments before trying to synthesis a compare and contrast argument to become better at this type of prompt.
Tuesday, November 17, 2015
Sunday, November 8, 2015
Monday, November 2, 2015
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
Monday, October 5, 2015
Thursday, September 24, 2015
Wednesday, September 23, 2015
Tuesday, September 1, 2015
Blog #4: Open Benchmark Essay
Lord of the Flies is the story of a group of boys stranded on a deserted inland during a major war. It follows the boys as they run crueler as the trappings of civilization fade away. A very Hobbes inspired novel. Cruelty serves as a commentary on the general nature of humanity and it reveals this nature by the reactions of the boys to cruelty.
When the boys end up on the island, they believe it will be a Robinson Curose- style adventure. But as time foes on, the situation deteriotes eventually with the murder of Piggy and the hunt for Ralph. But in the beginning the boys are sickened by the killing animals to eat. This steady increase in cruelty over time, from innocent boy to murderer, highlights a central theme of loss of innocence. Especially with Ralph and Jim,, cruelty serves as a measure of civility. Ralph represents civilization- only with him do Piggy and Simon survive- while Jim is closer to the nature of men. Ralph acts far less cruelty that Jim- who bullys people weaker than him and choose to break off and create a hierarchical sture rather than the nicer original camp.l Cruelty is a measure of degeneration away from civilization throughout the whole novel.
There are three specific acts of cruelty that illustrate the theme clearly- the hunt of the sow, the killing of Simon, and the murder of Piggy. The boys finally caught the sow they were chasing. The test reads like a gang rape with hysterical and vulger feelings running through the boys. At the end, they stake her head up. This act of cruelty was motivated by a desire for food, a perfectly reasonable desire, but it was tainted by the ritualistic and sexual way it was done. This is the beginning of the descent in darkness.
Simon's death was an accident, the boys, in a fit of hysteria, kill him believing him to be a monster. This killing, the first of another person, is a further decent into cruelty and the inherent nature of man- where rationality fails to create such acts of cruelty. Importantly, Ralph participates in killing Simon, showing how easy even civilization can fail.
The last act is the cruelest and the most revealing. During the confrontation at the cliff, one of Jim's group releases a boulder down the hill, striking and killing Piggy. This time, it was a simple murder, where the boy preceded with hatred a desire to kill Piggy. Piggy was the symbol for rationality and reason. Physically weak and needing the protection of Ralph, his glasses were the only way to create fire and leave the island. This cruelty marks the last stage of their descent- where the boys lose any semblance of civilization by cutting ties- literaly by destroying the only way to make fire, and figuratively by trying to kill Ralph, the symbol for civilization.
In the Lord of the Flies, Cruelty is tied to the inherent nature of man- only suppressed by civilization. As the acts of cruelty grow in the novel, we see civilization giving way to the wickedness in all people. Cruelty here reveals the inherent evil all people have.
Reflection
We wrote our first open essay on how cruelty functions in the piece and what it reveals about the perpetrator and victim. I choose to write about the Lord of the Flies for my essay. This may have been a poor decision- as I misnamed Jack to Jim, could not remember Roger's name and failed to remember the name of the author, William Golding. I would give myself a 5 for this essay. I think the most important thing to take away from this is that I went in unprepared- I couldn't recall enough of the book to really work with it. I remember key moments and the broad strokes, but missing details betray me. I read Lord of the Flies years ago, so I don't remember much. I also felt that my analysis was quite weak, I never looked at how cruelty relates to victim and I needed to connect my analysis with my evidence more. Still, I think the three acts of cruelty structure was good for addressing the overall cruelty in the novel part and I think there's a framework that could be developed to a great essay. The most important thing I need to learn is to build a list of books that I can recall well that could be used. Like 5 books with broad things that I can remember all of. This eliminates my greatest problem. This means I need to read more. This can be seen if I have complete and correct information in my essays.
Response
Kara Lennon (lennonkaraapenglish2015.blogspot.com/)
Hi Kara! I think that you did a solid job on your analysis though I think that you should be a four over a three because you had several interesting threads that could have been more interesting if developed. But without development, it failed to offer an adequate analysis mainly being too unfocused. Your writing felt functional but it didn't have the rhetorical devices to make your prose stronger. You commented on most of your biggest problems well, I need to refresh my memory too. Additionally, I would have structured your paragraphs differently, with the analysis interspersed into the paraphrasing rather than the separate paragraphs. Your thesis was also a bit weak, it needs to be more specific. You're correct about being staying on topic and recalling plot details being your most important problems. I felt that you made a solid analysis of what you could remember. I think your goal of recalling more information is a good one, it'll help all the other parts of your essay.
Essay Revision
Boys elect Ralph- Refusal
Boys kill Simon- Ordeal
Captain saves Ralph- Resurrection
Lord of the Flies is a story where our heroes fail, the boys are confronted with the inherent evil of man, they succumb to it. The captain is a deus ex machina, which is deliberate, Ralph does not survive on his own ability. The third act is subverted.
Response
Kara Lennon (lennonkaraapenglish2015.blogspot.com/)
Hi Kara! I think that you did a solid job on your analysis though I think that you should be a four over a three because you had several interesting threads that could have been more interesting if developed. But without development, it failed to offer an adequate analysis mainly being too unfocused. Your writing felt functional but it didn't have the rhetorical devices to make your prose stronger. You commented on most of your biggest problems well, I need to refresh my memory too. Additionally, I would have structured your paragraphs differently, with the analysis interspersed into the paraphrasing rather than the separate paragraphs. Your thesis was also a bit weak, it needs to be more specific. You're correct about being staying on topic and recalling plot details being your most important problems. I felt that you made a solid analysis of what you could remember. I think your goal of recalling more information is a good one, it'll help all the other parts of your essay.
Essay Revision
Boys elect Ralph- Refusal
Boys kill Simon- Ordeal
Captain saves Ralph- Resurrection
Lord of the Flies is a story where our heroes fail, the boys are confronted with the inherent evil of man, they succumb to it. The captain is a deus ex machina, which is deliberate, Ralph does not survive on his own ability. The third act is subverted.
Lord of the Flies by William Golding is the story of a group of boys stranded on a deserted island during a major war. It follows the boys as they turn crueler as the trappings of civilization fade away. The central theme of the novel is how man is wicked and evil if civilization does not hold him back, with cruelty serving as the barometer of that evil. Cruelty serves as a commentary on the inherently evil nature of humanity and it reveals this nature through the boy's increasingly cruel actions.
When the boys end up on the island, they believe it will be a Robinson Crusoe- style adventure. They resist their evil natures by electing Ralph and constructing a social system. But as time goes on, their real nature breaks through their facade of civility, eventually with the murder of Piggy and the hunt for Ralph. But in the beginning the boys are sickened by the killing animals to eat. This steady increase in cruelty over time, from innocent boy to murderer, highlights a central theme of how, in the absence of authority o hold us back, humanity is inherently cruel.
There are three specific acts of cruelty that illustrate the theme clearly- the hunt of the sow, the killing of Simon, and the murder of Piggy. The boys finally caught the sow they were chasing. Golding writes about this like a gang rape with hysterical and sexual descriptions. At the end, they cut her head off and put it on a stake. This head, the Lord of the Flies, tells Simon of the darkness in all of them latter. This is something crueler than anything the boys were capable of when civilization stopped them. Still, the boys will do far worse things. This is the beginning of the descent in darkness.
Simon, in a sort of spirit journey, wanders into the forest and meets the 'monster,' a dead pilot on his parachute. He meets the Lord of the Flies who explains to him how all the evil of the island comes from the boy. After he wander's back, the boys kill him. Simon's death was an accident, the boys, in a fit of hysteria, kill him believing him to be a monster. This killing, the first of another person, is a further decent into cruelty and the evil nature of man- where rationality fails to create such acts of cruelty. Importantly, Ralph, symbol of civilization, participates in killing Simon, showing how easy even civilization can fail. Also note Simon, the closest to an actual hero, is the first to die.
The last act is the cruelest and the most revealing. During the confrontation at the cliff, Roger releases a boulder down the hill, striking and killing Piggy. This time, it was a simple murder, where the boy preceded with hatred a desire to kill Piggy. Piggy was the symbol for rationality and reason. Physically weak and needing the protection of Ralph, his glasses were the only way to create fire and leave the island. This cruelty marks the last stage of their descent- where the boys lose any semblance of civilization by cutting ties- literally by destroying the only way to make fire, and figuratively by trying to kill Ralph, the symbol for civilization.
Ralph is saved by a navel captain who arrives unexpected and somewhat randomly. This sudden arrival of an authority figure immediately cows the boys, who were hunting Ralph, back into line. This is important to central theme of civilization holding back people's darker nature.
Reflection
We were to try to use the hero's journey to try and improve our open essays. I don't think the hero's journey helped very much with this particular book. The hero's journey ends with the hero triumphing and overcoming the trials presented to him. But the boys in the book fail to overcome and are only saved by dumb luck. Thus, the third act subverts the journey, if it was intended to follow it at all. My major changes were to focus my essay to look at how cruelty illustrates the inherent evil of all people. I think the three acts of cruelty structure holds up well, more as a descent than a hero's journey. Still, the hero's journey did help me interpret Simon's role in more detail. I think I might be able to look at Simon's role as a hero and how his death is important but that would be a rewrite than a revision and would be off topic. It also helped me remember the importance of the navel captain at the end.
Ralph is saved by a navel captain who arrives unexpected and somewhat randomly. This sudden arrival of an authority figure immediately cows the boys, who were hunting Ralph, back into line. This is important to central theme of civilization holding back people's darker nature.
Reflection
We were to try to use the hero's journey to try and improve our open essays. I don't think the hero's journey helped very much with this particular book. The hero's journey ends with the hero triumphing and overcoming the trials presented to him. But the boys in the book fail to overcome and are only saved by dumb luck. Thus, the third act subverts the journey, if it was intended to follow it at all. My major changes were to focus my essay to look at how cruelty illustrates the inherent evil of all people. I think the three acts of cruelty structure holds up well, more as a descent than a hero's journey. Still, the hero's journey did help me interpret Simon's role in more detail. I think I might be able to look at Simon's role as a hero and how his death is important but that would be a rewrite than a revision and would be off topic. It also helped me remember the importance of the navel captain at the end.
Thursday, August 27, 2015
Blog #3: Prose Benchmark Essay
Characterization is essential in the opening of any book, except perhaps the post-modern ones. Louise Erdich, in his 1986 novel, The Beet Queen, wastes no time in developing his two protagonists. Using a third person omniscient narrator with neutral tone, Erdich develops the Adares using the environment and the siblings reactions to it. With a neutral and unbiased third person narrator. Erdich characterizes Karl Adare as a romantic and Mary Adare as a pragmatist by the vivid imagery of the environment and the detail present in it.
Erdich uses a very neutral tone- the type associated with literary realism. Erdich never judges his characters- only describing the "cold spring mourning," the physical characteristics of the Adares, and the scene with the tree. As with the realist tone, the advantages this offers are that we can trust the narrator to be true and we can see the actions of the characters for what they are. Furthermore, it allows the author to wrap the implications and subtext behind a wall of frankness.
From the tone, third person omniscient is the other logical part of realism. This narrator is 100% reliable and can describe things with perfect accuracy. The same benefits as as the neutral tone. This allowed Erdich to mention the summer and spring following 1932. Either way, realism is simply a lens that allows Erdich to focus on the characters.
The centerpiece of the passage is the vivid images of Argus and the descriptions of the children. The town seems to be a timeless place- lacking the activity of the city. "Along the track... everything that made the town arrived. All that diminished the town departed by that route." This sense of "easy come, easy go" gives the town a sleepy, relaxed feel. The boy, with his "sweetly curved [mouth], his skin fine and girlish" is portrayed as the more romantic of the two, the girl "was square and practical." These images already inform us about the nature of the two characters.
His choice to include the detail of the flowers also highlights the romantic/practical divide. Mary walks by the flowers looking for Fritzie, but Karl stops to smell them and gets in trouble. What a pleasant thing to do, stop and smell the flowers. Mary choose to focus on the objective instead. Again at the end, where Mary runs to Fritzie away from the dog while Karl goes back to the train. Mary chooses to go to what they came to do while Karl runs to the train- someplace that feels like home. Erdich uses realism to better show how the environment, the scene with the tree, highlights the difference between Mary and Karl.
Reflection
We wrote an essay in response to the prose prompt about Louise Erdich's The Beet Queen. I would have given my essay a five. After typing it up, I realized that I paraphrased far too much. I needed textual evidence to support most of my fairly strong claims. Also, I felt I had a few good ideas but it wasn't focused enough. The part about literary realism was quite off topic- it doesn't really talk much about the environment. I should have tied realism to the reactions of the kids. My intro has a strange repetition of ideas when I should have just gave my thesis. I think that I didn't do so well because I was caught off guard by the prompt- I remember being unsure about how to proceed after reading it. Also, I didn't start off with a clear thesis which confused me down the line. Lastly, I didn't really annotate because I wasn't sure what to look for, This essay is a little different from the AP Comp essay. The AP Comp essays focused more on how the author crafts an argument while this looked at specific effect of the text. I think I can improve by annotating the essay, using more textual evidence, and studying more about the types of prompts.
Response
Austin Woodruff (woodruffaustinapenglishlit2016.blogspot.com)
Hi Austin! I thought that you had a solid essay. I also felt your reflection was quite good and I agree with the score you gave yourself. It was a reasonable analysis with strong supporting evidence but I felt was less thorough and perceptive than the upper tier. I felt that you were quite focused on the prompt, you consistently talked about the environment in relation to the siblings. Don't be afraid digress from the prompt, you're allowed a degree of deviation. I also felt that you needed more analysis of your citations. You used a lot of textual evidence, which is good, but you need more analysis with it. I also think your thesis needs to be more specific. I have the same problem, but it looks like your concluding statement offers a more focused thesis than the opening paragraph. Lastly, your writing feels very functional, but not very a command of the elements of effective composition. I don't quite understand your goal- what is one point every six points? Also, I think that your goals should be more focused than scoring better. I'd recommend adding writing a stronger thesis (demonstrable through a strong and clear thesis in following essays) and longer analysis (demonstrable through the ratio of analysis to evidence.) Overall, I think that you have a good handle on where you are and what to do.
Erdich uses a very neutral tone- the type associated with literary realism. Erdich never judges his characters- only describing the "cold spring mourning," the physical characteristics of the Adares, and the scene with the tree. As with the realist tone, the advantages this offers are that we can trust the narrator to be true and we can see the actions of the characters for what they are. Furthermore, it allows the author to wrap the implications and subtext behind a wall of frankness.
From the tone, third person omniscient is the other logical part of realism. This narrator is 100% reliable and can describe things with perfect accuracy. The same benefits as as the neutral tone. This allowed Erdich to mention the summer and spring following 1932. Either way, realism is simply a lens that allows Erdich to focus on the characters.
The centerpiece of the passage is the vivid images of Argus and the descriptions of the children. The town seems to be a timeless place- lacking the activity of the city. "Along the track... everything that made the town arrived. All that diminished the town departed by that route." This sense of "easy come, easy go" gives the town a sleepy, relaxed feel. The boy, with his "sweetly curved [mouth], his skin fine and girlish" is portrayed as the more romantic of the two, the girl "was square and practical." These images already inform us about the nature of the two characters.
His choice to include the detail of the flowers also highlights the romantic/practical divide. Mary walks by the flowers looking for Fritzie, but Karl stops to smell them and gets in trouble. What a pleasant thing to do, stop and smell the flowers. Mary choose to focus on the objective instead. Again at the end, where Mary runs to Fritzie away from the dog while Karl goes back to the train. Mary chooses to go to what they came to do while Karl runs to the train- someplace that feels like home. Erdich uses realism to better show how the environment, the scene with the tree, highlights the difference between Mary and Karl.
Reflection
We wrote an essay in response to the prose prompt about Louise Erdich's The Beet Queen. I would have given my essay a five. After typing it up, I realized that I paraphrased far too much. I needed textual evidence to support most of my fairly strong claims. Also, I felt I had a few good ideas but it wasn't focused enough. The part about literary realism was quite off topic- it doesn't really talk much about the environment. I should have tied realism to the reactions of the kids. My intro has a strange repetition of ideas when I should have just gave my thesis. I think that I didn't do so well because I was caught off guard by the prompt- I remember being unsure about how to proceed after reading it. Also, I didn't start off with a clear thesis which confused me down the line. Lastly, I didn't really annotate because I wasn't sure what to look for, This essay is a little different from the AP Comp essay. The AP Comp essays focused more on how the author crafts an argument while this looked at specific effect of the text. I think I can improve by annotating the essay, using more textual evidence, and studying more about the types of prompts.
Response
Austin Woodruff (woodruffaustinapenglishlit2016.blogspot.com)
Hi Austin! I thought that you had a solid essay. I also felt your reflection was quite good and I agree with the score you gave yourself. It was a reasonable analysis with strong supporting evidence but I felt was less thorough and perceptive than the upper tier. I felt that you were quite focused on the prompt, you consistently talked about the environment in relation to the siblings. Don't be afraid digress from the prompt, you're allowed a degree of deviation. I also felt that you needed more analysis of your citations. You used a lot of textual evidence, which is good, but you need more analysis with it. I also think your thesis needs to be more specific. I have the same problem, but it looks like your concluding statement offers a more focused thesis than the opening paragraph. Lastly, your writing feels very functional, but not very a command of the elements of effective composition. I don't quite understand your goal- what is one point every six points? Also, I think that your goals should be more focused than scoring better. I'd recommend adding writing a stronger thesis (demonstrable through a strong and clear thesis in following essays) and longer analysis (demonstrable through the ratio of analysis to evidence.) Overall, I think that you have a good handle on where you are and what to do.
Wednesday, August 19, 2015
Blog #2: Poetry Benchmark Essay
Who does not know the pain of heartbreak? Lots of people, but certainly not poets. So many poems talk about love, and so many talk about the pain of love lost. George Gascoigne writes about his own heartbreak in his 1573 poem: For That He Looked Not upon Her. He is afraid of being hurt again, but still finds the subject of his former love beautiful. Gascoigne makes specific uses of diction to convey his hedgehog's dilemma; he also makes use of second person and first person to create immediacy; he also uses vivid imagery to draw pity.
The poem never directly mentions love, nor does it state that "you" are the lover. Still, the implication is very strong from his choice of words. Gascoigne uses words like "gleams" and "blazing" to describe "you." This suggests that he finds "you" to be attractive. He also mentions "the game" and "fancy dazzled by desire" in lines eleven and twelve. Desire is very strongly linked with love, and fancy is a somewhat archaic term for romantic interest. These choices of words imply that his "desire" was once the still attractive "you." His choice to describe "you" with positive words relating to light suggests that he may still be attracted to "you."
The poem is written in both second person and first person, as if he were speaking to his love. The strong implication from the last line, where he says that "your blazing eyes" have created his misery, is that "you" is his partner, This use of second person creates immediacy with the reader. A third person view would have been more distant due to the detached pronouns. A solely first person view would have less of a connection to the audience, A second person view puts the audience as his lover, and makes the reader be in the poem with him.
There are two uses of imagery with metaphor in this piece. Gascoigne mentions a mouse broken out of a trap, weary of deception and a fly that escaped the flame. The implication is quite clear, Gascoigne is the mouse and fly and "you" are the bait and flame, respectively. He chooses to analogize himself to pests, it is attempt to draw pity for the reader. Had he picked himself as a lion, he might have seemed more arrogant. But the choice to be weak makes him the wounded party. His choice of bait and flame are also important. Both are positive things that can be very dangerous, the view he likely has about "you."
Reflection
We wrote our first poetry analysis essay that will appear on the AP exam. Our analysis was over George Gascoigne's For That He Looked Not Upon Her. We were to look at the form, diction, and imagery. I would have scored my essay a 7. I think I did a reasonable analysis, but it isn't solid enough to be very persuasive. I hadn't collected all my thoughts together precisely enough to be very thorough or convincing. I do make specific references to the text and I think my command of composition is strong enough to be 7 over a 6. For the most part, I felt the biggest issue was time. I thought I would be able to get all my thoughts down before the bell, but I spent too long analyzing. Equally, I attempted to see if the poem was in iambic pentameter, but I misidentified it. This is probably because this was the first time taking a poetry analysis and we haven't studied poetic form yet. This shows that I need to learn to manage my time better and study more on the form of poetry, which was the weakest part of my analysis.
Feedback to others
Austin Woodruff- woodruffaustinapenglishlit2016.blogspot.com
The poem never directly mentions love, nor does it state that "you" are the lover. Still, the implication is very strong from his choice of words. Gascoigne uses words like "gleams" and "blazing" to describe "you." This suggests that he finds "you" to be attractive. He also mentions "the game" and "fancy dazzled by desire" in lines eleven and twelve. Desire is very strongly linked with love, and fancy is a somewhat archaic term for romantic interest. These choices of words imply that his "desire" was once the still attractive "you." His choice to describe "you" with positive words relating to light suggests that he may still be attracted to "you."
The poem is written in both second person and first person, as if he were speaking to his love. The strong implication from the last line, where he says that "your blazing eyes" have created his misery, is that "you" is his partner, This use of second person creates immediacy with the reader. A third person view would have been more distant due to the detached pronouns. A solely first person view would have less of a connection to the audience, A second person view puts the audience as his lover, and makes the reader be in the poem with him.
There are two uses of imagery with metaphor in this piece. Gascoigne mentions a mouse broken out of a trap, weary of deception and a fly that escaped the flame. The implication is quite clear, Gascoigne is the mouse and fly and "you" are the bait and flame, respectively. He chooses to analogize himself to pests, it is attempt to draw pity for the reader. Had he picked himself as a lion, he might have seemed more arrogant. But the choice to be weak makes him the wounded party. His choice of bait and flame are also important. Both are positive things that can be very dangerous, the view he likely has about "you."
Reflection
We wrote our first poetry analysis essay that will appear on the AP exam. Our analysis was over George Gascoigne's For That He Looked Not Upon Her. We were to look at the form, diction, and imagery. I would have scored my essay a 7. I think I did a reasonable analysis, but it isn't solid enough to be very persuasive. I hadn't collected all my thoughts together precisely enough to be very thorough or convincing. I do make specific references to the text and I think my command of composition is strong enough to be 7 over a 6. For the most part, I felt the biggest issue was time. I thought I would be able to get all my thoughts down before the bell, but I spent too long analyzing. Equally, I attempted to see if the poem was in iambic pentameter, but I misidentified it. This is probably because this was the first time taking a poetry analysis and we haven't studied poetic form yet. This shows that I need to learn to manage my time better and study more on the form of poetry, which was the weakest part of my analysis.
Feedback to others
Austin Woodruff- woodruffaustinapenglishlit2016.blogspot.com
Hi Austin! I think that your analysis was fairly accurate.
From what I read, I would guess that you ran out of time- it feels like you
have far more to say. You could have talked more about the form and diction of
the poem, but I think you were getting to that. It was a tad vague- your last
paragraph confused me somewhat; were you looking at the imagery Gascoigne used
for "her" eyes? Still, I felt your command of the elements of
effective composition is one of your strengths. The language in your essay was
very good. You also used textual evidence effectively, another important skill;
no paraphrasing. I think that your goal to write good paragraphs consistently
is a good one. You should also work on time management, which is a problem of
mine too. Lastly, try also to have a clearer thesis that specifically address
the prompt- remember AP writing is a genre itself, and they want students to
zero in on that prompt. Overall, I think you did a plausible job with a good
analysis of what you did.
Addendum: I also recommend that you add a paragraph break in
your analysis at "The essay above..." It's a bit long.
Matt Maertz- maertzmattapenglishlit2016.blogspot.com
Matt Maertz- maertzmattapenglishlit2016.blogspot.com
Hi Matt! I think that you did an overall good job your
analysis, but I felt that you paraphrased too much. I would have given it a
five because of that- a plausible analysis. I think that you should have broken
up your first paragraph into an introduction and another body. It would make
your thesis much clearer. I also felt that you could have included much more
textual evidence. You also started to digress from strictly analyzing the
essay, especially in the second paragraph. You did a good analyzing the form of
the poem, though it was a bit bizarre. I also liked your writing. I think you
should work on focusing your essay, to address the prompt directly. Also, I
think that you should work on including more textual evidence.
REVISED DRAFT
Who does not know the pain of heartbreak? Lots of people, but certainly not poets. In "For That He Looked Not upon Her," George Gascoigne talks to his former lover with mixed attraction, resentment, and fear. Gascoigne's metaphors about a mouse hurt by a trap and a fly burnt by a flame compares similarly to his own feelings toward her. With the form of a Shakespearean sonnet, Gascoigne uses distant, depressive diction to create imagery that highlights his mixed attraction and resentment toward his past love.
The poem is written in both second person and first person, as if he were speaking to his love. The strong implication from the last line, where he says that "your blazing eyes" have created his misery, is that "you" is his partner, This use of second person creates immediacy with the reader. A third person view would have been more distant due to the detached pronouns. A solely first person view would have less of a connection to the audience, A second person view puts the audience as his lover, and makes the reader be in the poem with him. More than that, it creates immediacy to Gascoigne, as he must talk to his lover face to face. This also allows Gascoigne to describe himself from "your" point of view- depriving himself of active verbs to make him a more active and willful person.
There are two uses of imagery with metaphor in this piece, in the second and third quatrain. Gascoigne mentions a mouse broken out of a trap, weary of deception and a fly that escaped the flame. Gascoigne is the mouse and fly and "you" are the bait and flame, respectively. He chooses to analogize himself to pests in an attempt to draw pity for the reader. Had he picked himself as a lion, he might have seemed more arrogant or proud. But the choice to be weak makes him the wounded party. His choice of bait and flame are also important. Both are positive things that can be very dangerous, the view he likely has about "you."
I find his verb choice very interesting. Despite all he does to make himself appear weak and wounded, Gascoigne is always the active party, except in the first quatrain. The mouse chooses to fall for a passive trap, the fly chooses to fly into the passive flame, and he chooses to look not upon her. The first quatrain is written from "your" point of view about him, reducing his active verbs and making him look passive. But in the last couplet, He "winks or else [holds] down [his] head," not her. There is a shift in the poem that gives him the control. This could imply that he blames himself for the poor relationship, or his actively working to actively resent "you." Either way, Gascoigne's choice to make himself the active party shows that he is not as weak and passive as he tries to come off.
Gascoigne's sonnet form allows him to have a clear four part structure. The first quatrain contrasts with the last couplet in his choice in voice- "you" are active in the first while he is active in the last. Gascoigne also spends most his imagery to suggest that he is the wounded party, but his metaphors all have him make a choice to be hurt. He also wrote in second person, the most immediate and active of the points of view. All this suggests that Gascoigne is a far more active and willful person than he tries to make himself seem.
Reflection
I think that the tone shifts chart was more of a help than the three part thesis/ I had already known the general direction that I would take take the essay, so the three part only helped me make that more clear. The tone shifts chart helped me realize the relationship between the first quatrain and the couplet. The three part thesis did force me to create a more specific thesis while my first was rather vague. The knowledge of the structure of the sonnet also helped me look with more depth at how all four parts of the poem interacted. I also cut out the section justify that this poem is about love, it was largely extraneous and messed with my structure. I remember that I ran out of time when I was writing this first time. Simply getting more time to think and write helped me immensely. That, combined with new knowledge about the structure of a sonnet, contributed most to my revisions.
REVISED DRAFT
Who does not know the pain of heartbreak? Lots of people, but certainly not poets. In "For That He Looked Not upon Her," George Gascoigne talks to his former lover with mixed attraction, resentment, and fear. Gascoigne's metaphors about a mouse hurt by a trap and a fly burnt by a flame compares similarly to his own feelings toward her. With the form of a Shakespearean sonnet, Gascoigne uses distant, depressive diction to create imagery that highlights his mixed attraction and resentment toward his past love.
The poem is written in both second person and first person, as if he were speaking to his love. The strong implication from the last line, where he says that "your blazing eyes" have created his misery, is that "you" is his partner, This use of second person creates immediacy with the reader. A third person view would have been more distant due to the detached pronouns. A solely first person view would have less of a connection to the audience, A second person view puts the audience as his lover, and makes the reader be in the poem with him. More than that, it creates immediacy to Gascoigne, as he must talk to his lover face to face. This also allows Gascoigne to describe himself from "your" point of view- depriving himself of active verbs to make him a more active and willful person.
There are two uses of imagery with metaphor in this piece, in the second and third quatrain. Gascoigne mentions a mouse broken out of a trap, weary of deception and a fly that escaped the flame. Gascoigne is the mouse and fly and "you" are the bait and flame, respectively. He chooses to analogize himself to pests in an attempt to draw pity for the reader. Had he picked himself as a lion, he might have seemed more arrogant or proud. But the choice to be weak makes him the wounded party. His choice of bait and flame are also important. Both are positive things that can be very dangerous, the view he likely has about "you."
I find his verb choice very interesting. Despite all he does to make himself appear weak and wounded, Gascoigne is always the active party, except in the first quatrain. The mouse chooses to fall for a passive trap, the fly chooses to fly into the passive flame, and he chooses to look not upon her. The first quatrain is written from "your" point of view about him, reducing his active verbs and making him look passive. But in the last couplet, He "winks or else [holds] down [his] head," not her. There is a shift in the poem that gives him the control. This could imply that he blames himself for the poor relationship, or his actively working to actively resent "you." Either way, Gascoigne's choice to make himself the active party shows that he is not as weak and passive as he tries to come off.
Gascoigne's sonnet form allows him to have a clear four part structure. The first quatrain contrasts with the last couplet in his choice in voice- "you" are active in the first while he is active in the last. Gascoigne also spends most his imagery to suggest that he is the wounded party, but his metaphors all have him make a choice to be hurt. He also wrote in second person, the most immediate and active of the points of view. All this suggests that Gascoigne is a far more active and willful person than he tries to make himself seem.
Reflection
I think that the tone shifts chart was more of a help than the three part thesis/ I had already known the general direction that I would take take the essay, so the three part only helped me make that more clear. The tone shifts chart helped me realize the relationship between the first quatrain and the couplet. The three part thesis did force me to create a more specific thesis while my first was rather vague. The knowledge of the structure of the sonnet also helped me look with more depth at how all four parts of the poem interacted. I also cut out the section justify that this poem is about love, it was largely extraneous and messed with my structure. I remember that I ran out of time when I was writing this first time. Simply getting more time to think and write helped me immensely. That, combined with new knowledge about the structure of a sonnet, contributed most to my revisions.
Tuesday, August 18, 2015
Blog #1: Multiple Choice Reflection
Today, we got back our results for the first multiple choice assessment for the AP Literature exam. I scored a 17 out of 25. For me, the most important thing I learned is that I should close read more carefully. I missed several questions that I could have gotten correct if I read more carefully. I think I didn't read as closely was because of the time limit. The most useful element I learned was how similar it was to the old AP Composition exam. Previously, I had thought that they would be very different exams. They still share many elements- like the focus on how the author crafts the piece. I think they felt similar because the techniques of analyzing text are similar for most pieces. But there still were differences. Unlike the AP Composition exam, this practice test focused more on literary pieces over nonfiction essays. It also dealt with arguments less. I think this is the reason they are different courses, different focus. Ultimately, I did worse than I did at the end of AP Composition last year. This means I will have to relearn and reapply skills in different ways from the AP Composition exam along with entirely new ones.
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