The poem never directly mentions love, nor does it state that "you" are the lover. Still, the implication is very strong from his choice of words. Gascoigne uses words like "gleams" and "blazing" to describe "you." This suggests that he finds "you" to be attractive. He also mentions "the game" and "fancy dazzled by desire" in lines eleven and twelve. Desire is very strongly linked with love, and fancy is a somewhat archaic term for romantic interest. These choices of words imply that his "desire" was once the still attractive "you." His choice to describe "you" with positive words relating to light suggests that he may still be attracted to "you."
The poem is written in both second person and first person, as if he were speaking to his love. The strong implication from the last line, where he says that "your blazing eyes" have created his misery, is that "you" is his partner, This use of second person creates immediacy with the reader. A third person view would have been more distant due to the detached pronouns. A solely first person view would have less of a connection to the audience, A second person view puts the audience as his lover, and makes the reader be in the poem with him.
There are two uses of imagery with metaphor in this piece. Gascoigne mentions a mouse broken out of a trap, weary of deception and a fly that escaped the flame. The implication is quite clear, Gascoigne is the mouse and fly and "you" are the bait and flame, respectively. He chooses to analogize himself to pests, it is attempt to draw pity for the reader. Had he picked himself as a lion, he might have seemed more arrogant. But the choice to be weak makes him the wounded party. His choice of bait and flame are also important. Both are positive things that can be very dangerous, the view he likely has about "you."
Reflection
We wrote our first poetry analysis essay that will appear on the AP exam. Our analysis was over George Gascoigne's For That He Looked Not Upon Her. We were to look at the form, diction, and imagery. I would have scored my essay a 7. I think I did a reasonable analysis, but it isn't solid enough to be very persuasive. I hadn't collected all my thoughts together precisely enough to be very thorough or convincing. I do make specific references to the text and I think my command of composition is strong enough to be 7 over a 6. For the most part, I felt the biggest issue was time. I thought I would be able to get all my thoughts down before the bell, but I spent too long analyzing. Equally, I attempted to see if the poem was in iambic pentameter, but I misidentified it. This is probably because this was the first time taking a poetry analysis and we haven't studied poetic form yet. This shows that I need to learn to manage my time better and study more on the form of poetry, which was the weakest part of my analysis.
Feedback to others
Austin Woodruff- woodruffaustinapenglishlit2016.blogspot.com
Hi Austin! I think that your analysis was fairly accurate.
From what I read, I would guess that you ran out of time- it feels like you
have far more to say. You could have talked more about the form and diction of
the poem, but I think you were getting to that. It was a tad vague- your last
paragraph confused me somewhat; were you looking at the imagery Gascoigne used
for "her" eyes? Still, I felt your command of the elements of
effective composition is one of your strengths. The language in your essay was
very good. You also used textual evidence effectively, another important skill;
no paraphrasing. I think that your goal to write good paragraphs consistently
is a good one. You should also work on time management, which is a problem of
mine too. Lastly, try also to have a clearer thesis that specifically address
the prompt- remember AP writing is a genre itself, and they want students to
zero in on that prompt. Overall, I think you did a plausible job with a good
analysis of what you did.
Addendum: I also recommend that you add a paragraph break in
your analysis at "The essay above..." It's a bit long.
Matt Maertz- maertzmattapenglishlit2016.blogspot.com
Matt Maertz- maertzmattapenglishlit2016.blogspot.com
Hi Matt! I think that you did an overall good job your
analysis, but I felt that you paraphrased too much. I would have given it a
five because of that- a plausible analysis. I think that you should have broken
up your first paragraph into an introduction and another body. It would make
your thesis much clearer. I also felt that you could have included much more
textual evidence. You also started to digress from strictly analyzing the
essay, especially in the second paragraph. You did a good analyzing the form of
the poem, though it was a bit bizarre. I also liked your writing. I think you
should work on focusing your essay, to address the prompt directly. Also, I
think that you should work on including more textual evidence.
REVISED DRAFT
Who does not know the pain of heartbreak? Lots of people, but certainly not poets. In "For That He Looked Not upon Her," George Gascoigne talks to his former lover with mixed attraction, resentment, and fear. Gascoigne's metaphors about a mouse hurt by a trap and a fly burnt by a flame compares similarly to his own feelings toward her. With the form of a Shakespearean sonnet, Gascoigne uses distant, depressive diction to create imagery that highlights his mixed attraction and resentment toward his past love.
The poem is written in both second person and first person, as if he were speaking to his love. The strong implication from the last line, where he says that "your blazing eyes" have created his misery, is that "you" is his partner, This use of second person creates immediacy with the reader. A third person view would have been more distant due to the detached pronouns. A solely first person view would have less of a connection to the audience, A second person view puts the audience as his lover, and makes the reader be in the poem with him. More than that, it creates immediacy to Gascoigne, as he must talk to his lover face to face. This also allows Gascoigne to describe himself from "your" point of view- depriving himself of active verbs to make him a more active and willful person.
There are two uses of imagery with metaphor in this piece, in the second and third quatrain. Gascoigne mentions a mouse broken out of a trap, weary of deception and a fly that escaped the flame. Gascoigne is the mouse and fly and "you" are the bait and flame, respectively. He chooses to analogize himself to pests in an attempt to draw pity for the reader. Had he picked himself as a lion, he might have seemed more arrogant or proud. But the choice to be weak makes him the wounded party. His choice of bait and flame are also important. Both are positive things that can be very dangerous, the view he likely has about "you."
I find his verb choice very interesting. Despite all he does to make himself appear weak and wounded, Gascoigne is always the active party, except in the first quatrain. The mouse chooses to fall for a passive trap, the fly chooses to fly into the passive flame, and he chooses to look not upon her. The first quatrain is written from "your" point of view about him, reducing his active verbs and making him look passive. But in the last couplet, He "winks or else [holds] down [his] head," not her. There is a shift in the poem that gives him the control. This could imply that he blames himself for the poor relationship, or his actively working to actively resent "you." Either way, Gascoigne's choice to make himself the active party shows that he is not as weak and passive as he tries to come off.
Gascoigne's sonnet form allows him to have a clear four part structure. The first quatrain contrasts with the last couplet in his choice in voice- "you" are active in the first while he is active in the last. Gascoigne also spends most his imagery to suggest that he is the wounded party, but his metaphors all have him make a choice to be hurt. He also wrote in second person, the most immediate and active of the points of view. All this suggests that Gascoigne is a far more active and willful person than he tries to make himself seem.
Reflection
I think that the tone shifts chart was more of a help than the three part thesis/ I had already known the general direction that I would take take the essay, so the three part only helped me make that more clear. The tone shifts chart helped me realize the relationship between the first quatrain and the couplet. The three part thesis did force me to create a more specific thesis while my first was rather vague. The knowledge of the structure of the sonnet also helped me look with more depth at how all four parts of the poem interacted. I also cut out the section justify that this poem is about love, it was largely extraneous and messed with my structure. I remember that I ran out of time when I was writing this first time. Simply getting more time to think and write helped me immensely. That, combined with new knowledge about the structure of a sonnet, contributed most to my revisions.
REVISED DRAFT
Who does not know the pain of heartbreak? Lots of people, but certainly not poets. In "For That He Looked Not upon Her," George Gascoigne talks to his former lover with mixed attraction, resentment, and fear. Gascoigne's metaphors about a mouse hurt by a trap and a fly burnt by a flame compares similarly to his own feelings toward her. With the form of a Shakespearean sonnet, Gascoigne uses distant, depressive diction to create imagery that highlights his mixed attraction and resentment toward his past love.
The poem is written in both second person and first person, as if he were speaking to his love. The strong implication from the last line, where he says that "your blazing eyes" have created his misery, is that "you" is his partner, This use of second person creates immediacy with the reader. A third person view would have been more distant due to the detached pronouns. A solely first person view would have less of a connection to the audience, A second person view puts the audience as his lover, and makes the reader be in the poem with him. More than that, it creates immediacy to Gascoigne, as he must talk to his lover face to face. This also allows Gascoigne to describe himself from "your" point of view- depriving himself of active verbs to make him a more active and willful person.
There are two uses of imagery with metaphor in this piece, in the second and third quatrain. Gascoigne mentions a mouse broken out of a trap, weary of deception and a fly that escaped the flame. Gascoigne is the mouse and fly and "you" are the bait and flame, respectively. He chooses to analogize himself to pests in an attempt to draw pity for the reader. Had he picked himself as a lion, he might have seemed more arrogant or proud. But the choice to be weak makes him the wounded party. His choice of bait and flame are also important. Both are positive things that can be very dangerous, the view he likely has about "you."
I find his verb choice very interesting. Despite all he does to make himself appear weak and wounded, Gascoigne is always the active party, except in the first quatrain. The mouse chooses to fall for a passive trap, the fly chooses to fly into the passive flame, and he chooses to look not upon her. The first quatrain is written from "your" point of view about him, reducing his active verbs and making him look passive. But in the last couplet, He "winks or else [holds] down [his] head," not her. There is a shift in the poem that gives him the control. This could imply that he blames himself for the poor relationship, or his actively working to actively resent "you." Either way, Gascoigne's choice to make himself the active party shows that he is not as weak and passive as he tries to come off.
Gascoigne's sonnet form allows him to have a clear four part structure. The first quatrain contrasts with the last couplet in his choice in voice- "you" are active in the first while he is active in the last. Gascoigne also spends most his imagery to suggest that he is the wounded party, but his metaphors all have him make a choice to be hurt. He also wrote in second person, the most immediate and active of the points of view. All this suggests that Gascoigne is a far more active and willful person than he tries to make himself seem.
Reflection
I think that the tone shifts chart was more of a help than the three part thesis/ I had already known the general direction that I would take take the essay, so the three part only helped me make that more clear. The tone shifts chart helped me realize the relationship between the first quatrain and the couplet. The three part thesis did force me to create a more specific thesis while my first was rather vague. The knowledge of the structure of the sonnet also helped me look with more depth at how all four parts of the poem interacted. I also cut out the section justify that this poem is about love, it was largely extraneous and messed with my structure. I remember that I ran out of time when I was writing this first time. Simply getting more time to think and write helped me immensely. That, combined with new knowledge about the structure of a sonnet, contributed most to my revisions.
Hi, Alex. Great essay!
ReplyDeleteIn his poetry essay, Alex responds to the prompt directly and efficiently. He wastes no time getting to the core of Gascoigne's dilemma: heartbreak. He comments on the three points, form, diction, and imagery, in his thesis; this accomplishes exactly what the prompt suggests, but at the same time, the prompt is merely that, a suggestion. "Such devices as..." leads the writer in the right direction, but doesn't have to be so strictly followed. Going beyond the obvious devices, like he did with his analysis of the balance between first and second person, would allow for a more nuanced and complex analysis of the piece. Alex's interaction with the text is both apt and specific, drawing clear references to the text. The analysis, however, leaves something to be desired, as the thorough and relevant quotes and textual evidence are limited impact because of the lack of much analysis. In his first body paragraph, Alex uses six sentences of 'summary' and only two sentences of convincing analysis. Although this analysis was clear and perceptive, it comes across as an after-thought to the references to the text. To improve the surface value of this analysis, Alex could cut out some of the summary and further develop his argument in the classification of the textual evidence. Alex had a very fair reflection of his essay, but I think that a 6 would be a more appropriate score because of the lack of developed and concrete, original analysis. To pull the score up, he could try to go beyond an explanation of what the evidence he pulls "does" and tie it into the prompt; how does it develop the complex attitude of the speaker. In his reflection, Alex hit the nail in the head by pointing out the better time-management could help him to improve the weak-links in his analysis; a stronger reflection, however, would have more measurable goals. The instructions for the reflection said to "provide specific, measurable goals for improvement," and this is something that wasn't really present in Alex's reflection. This was a great first poetry essay, and if Alex establishes some more specific, measurable goals, he will be in a great place to climb up even higher into the 'upper-level' essays.
Hi Alex, good job with the essay.
ReplyDeleteThis essay is a good example of one scored at a 6. Ideas are clearly stated, references to the text are made often. The essay analyzes diction, imagery and perspective. While there are not any direct quotes used to analyze the imagery there are many that are used when analyzing diction. When imagery is analyzed what is used instead of quotes are more paraphrases, while paraphrasing gets the general point across and provides the necessary information required to make the analysis a quote would be more concrete evidence because a paraphrase by it's very nature is an interpretation of a quote. I can easily see the arguments made using quotes would make for a much stronger essay because it cannot be argued that the author meant something other than what the paraphrase said or that the paraphrase has been manipulated to work for the argument. The analysis of diction is very focused. The diction choices are focused on who the speaker is addressing while it should be either more general or focused on the emotions created with the word choice. I am unsure if this is because of time being too short or not but it seems that this analysis is not related to the prompt. The perspective is analyzed as to how the connection is made to the audience through the use of first person and second person as compared to third person. This is an interesting analysis choice that not many would choose to analyze but addresses a critical aspect of the poem. Without this analysis the reader can clearly see what the writer is trying to convey through yet another medium.